D.C. Follies

Don King helps The Pope with his victory tour; Woody Allen discusses love and death with Fred; the former U.S. Presidents play Trivial Pursuit.

Ronald Reagan parachutes into D.C. Follies to hear Woody Allen's paranoia about becoming a father. Martin Mull has trouble getting a drink while Nixon, Ford, and Carter badger him for campaign contributions. After being hit on the head, Ad…

Unhappy with low ratings, Dan Rather searches for a new image for the evening news. Mikhail Gorbachev arrives at D.C. Follies in preparation for the summit. It's discovered that Nixon's presidential library is a bookmobile. Fred becomes a …

Prison escapee Sean Penn comes to DC Follies, where Fred and the rest of gang are preparing for the upcoming annual softball match. Also, President Reagan goes to the hospital for an operation and shares a room with Michael Jackson, Gerald…

Prince Charles comes to DC Follies, where he tries to win back his wife, Princess Diana. Ollie North has a new scam up his sleeves, while Gerald Ford has a new hair-growing remedy and Bob Uecker wants to run for President.

Caught up in the presidential campaign, Fred has a nightmare about zombie politicians. Mr. Rodgers broadcasts his show from Russia and ends up in their prison. Tammy Faye Bakker debuts her latest song and Betty White makes an appearance as…

John Madden gives Fred a mechanical bull for the bar. Gerald Ford tries to ride it but gets thrown off head first into the wall, where he remains for the rest of the show. Dolly Parton, Barbara Streisand, and Cher testify at the space hear…

George Bush brainstorms for ways to get Reagan out of office. He tries to hypnotize the president but it backfires and he turns himself into "RoboBush." Jim and Tammy Bakker plan a movie version of their lives starring Sean Penn and Madonn…

Fred inherits a large sum of money which he invests on the advice of Richard Nixon. Needless to say, he loses all his money and is in danger of losing the bar. Nixon tries various ways to raise money for Fred, one of which is writing a chi…

While riding in a limousine, Reagan and Gorbachev are harassed by Sam Donaldson. Back at D.C. Follies, Nixon plans a scam for his Cub Scout troupe. He is eventually caught, impeached from the organization and in his shame runs away. Mickey…

John Madden gives a play-by-play of the events leading up to the summit. Sam Donaldson practices his menacing approach to journalism on the patrons at D.C. Follies. Nixon is angry about being left out of the summit talks, but quickly recov…

Barbara Walters, Sam Donaldson, Ted Kopel and Dan Rather do a song and dance about the news media. Woody Allen reveals that he is not really Woody Allen. George Bush, in an effort to get into the spotlight, falls into a well. Fred finally …

Santa Claus is confirmed to be real and he makes an appearance at D.C. Follies to hear everyone's Christmas wishes. Reagan attends a meeting of the defense department to learn about a new "A" bomb the size of an audio cassette, and then mi…

It's New Years Eve and everyone is making their resolutions. Fred feels he is becoming a doormat for his customers and resolves to change. Reagan takes to the airwaves on a home shopping show in an attempt to wipe out the national debt. Ki…

It's Richard Nixon's birthday and the gang at D.C. Follies give him a roast. Bob Hope, Rodney Dangerfield and all the regulars join in the festivities which include an opera based on Nixon's life. The cab driver, Paul Rodriguez, crashes th…

Famous astrologer, Joyce Jillson, sets up shop at D.C. Follies to predict the future. She predicts Jane Fonda will be a very successful bag lady; Gary Hart will again drop out of the race; Reagan will boycott the Olympics; and Nixon will b…

Lee Iacocca moves his Chrysler plant to outer space to avoid union problems on Earth. Barbara Streisand directs a movie at D.C. Follies starring Whoopi Goldberg. Nixon dreams of being a movie star. He is a detective and Heather Thomas is h…

The Redskins vs. the Broncos in the Super Bowl. Dick Butkus is at D.C. Follies to host the pre-game show. He gives Fred and Nixon tickets to the game and the seats happen to be on the Redskin's bench. In the middle of the game there is a m…

Admiral Koop enlists the help of Sean Penn to campaign against smoking. They catch up with Rodney Dangerfield on an airplane and throw him into the arms of the police. Back at D.C. Follies, George Bush and Robert Dole are fighting like chi…

The show opens with Donaldson, Kennedy, Iacocca and Koch playing a round of "Political Jeopardy." Back at D.C. Follies, It's Valentine's Day and Fred is pining over his lost love, Princess Di. He flashes back to memories of their relations…

Lee Iacocca becomes Lee Ayatollah, opens a Chrysler plant in Iran and is bombed by U.S. Tankers. Back at D.C. Follies, Bette Midler graphically describes to Fred the birth of her baby. Then Fred helps Mayor Koch design a campaign slogan. R…

Rona Barret is on hand at the Grammys to introduce the arriving celebrities, while Whoopi Goldberg presents a Grammy to Barbara Streisand who relentlessly thanks herself. Steve Allen stops by and he and Fred try to crack the secret service…

Jimmy the Greek explains to Fred how TV evangelists are different from other people. Sylvester Stallone is worried about losing money if Gorbachev pulls his troop from Afghanistan -- He won't be able to make movies without a war-torn count…

Having been campaigning in the south for so long, the presidential candidates find themselves selected for jury duty. In this parody of "Twelve Angry Men," our jury must decide the fate of a jaywalker. Their debate turns into a song and da…

George Burns sends Swaggert to "D.C. Follies", to repent for sinning. Waldheim appears through the secret passageway in Fred's office while on a mortal mission to prevent the distortion of Nazi films by a Berlin Film Group. Jessica Hahn's …

Reluctant to go to school, Danny Quayle wishes he was "BIG" and pals around with George Bush and his running mate. Anticipating a fourth ex-president, Nixon, Ford, and Carter act as bookies for the upcoming election to make some extra cash…

The old "Nixon wit" helps keep him occupied when he gets locked in the basement with the missing Watergate tapes. Mother Mort's version of "Jack and Jill" sheds a new light on children's nursery rhymes. The truth is revealed about Elvis's …

Bush learns how to charge away the deficit problems after watching Gorbi abuse his Russian Express Card. Nixon tries to market himself as the Shroud of Turin to make money. Fred's lessons to Danny about the branches of government help him …

Just when Dukakis thought that his White House career would never become a reality, he lands a job as Bush's chauffeur. During Freddy Krueger's visit to D.C. Follies, he awakes from a nightmare in which Quayle almost became president. Fred…

In an attempt to tackle the high national debt left by the Reagan administration, Bush turns to the "Cozfather" to ask for a loan. Nixon impersonates Elvis in a conniving scheme to raise money. Fred takes on a teacher role for Danny when h…

Dan Quayle heads to D.C. Follies after trying to play hooky from work. Reagan's failing memory serves as an obstacle when he tries to recount his years in office. Whoopi meets her evil counterpart at the bar. Open Mic Night is a hit with t…

Much to his surprise, Bush signs a nuclear freeze treaty with the Soviets when Gorbachev pretends to be a talking car device. John Forsythe auditions Reagan for a role in Dynasty only to realize that the part calls for a conniving woman...…

Nixon's benevolent disposition becomes evident when he decides to give profits from his book to charity. Chess has never been as appetizing as with the new Elvis edition. Mr. Downey's Neighborhood sheds new light on politics. The Supreme C…

Geraldo's evidence from home movies of famous people proves that they were indeed once babies. Quayle's homemade autobiography-picture book attempts to capture "the real Dan." Castro and Arafat give Bambi a two guns down rating on "Terrori…

Mort takes on the role of Professor Higgins as he tries to tame Margaret Thatcher. Ted Kennedy's life as a bachelor is made easy with the "Singles to English Dictionary." Thanks to the sweeps week, a heart transplant lands a spot on Donahu…

Dan Quayle takes a joy ride in the presidential limo while Bush is out of town. Mort translates Bush's speech for the average American. Reagan accidentally sells Gorbachev the nuclear football during a yard sale. Quayle takes precautions t…

While out on Dingy I, Bush is saved from sharks that are afraid to have Quayle as president. Arafat joins the homeless when we learn that he has no visa. Mort's talk show topic of gene splicing fails to interest callers. The return of Open…

Gorbi gives King Kong a run for his money with his performance atop the Empire State Building. Harry Anderson's quick wit outsmarts the gang at D.C. Follies. For a mere $29.95, Tricky Rat Nixon's "educational" Racketeers tape speaks for it…

As Chief U.S. Delegate, Joan Rivers displays her sharp tongue with Gorbi and Thatcher. Arafat offers a new outlook on children's toys when he introduces G.I. Joe and Jane. The world of relaxation is in for a big surprise with the new Club …

Thanks to Fred, Leslie Nielsen stops by the bar to tell the story of his big break and picks up gifts from all. In search of a new profession, Ronnie disregards acting because it wouldn't allow him time to nap. Due to his ethical ways, Ger…

Khomeni's scheme to kidnap Vice-President Quayle backfires when he finds himself begging the U.S. to take Dan back. Nixon's deep concern for the preservation of mankind causes him a headache when his warm hearted clone, Millhouse, breaks t…

Nixon fantasizes a romantic weekend on the Riviera with Bo Derek, when in actuality he robbed her hotel room. Arafat has solved the problem of having to decide where to live by making his car a mobile home. Decorating the White House has b…

Ford's plan to go back to school to play football comes to an end when his agent, Nixon, is caught with foul play. Dolly's make-up tips for Barbara Bush cause George's eyes to pop out. Nixon tells Quayle horror stories of how the presidenc…

While visiting D.C. Follies, Yakov Smirnoff makes amends with Gorbi and they perform a segment from the "Yaki and Miki Show." The ex-presidents reminisce "how it used to be" during a chauffeured trip by Fred to see Nixon accept an award. P…

Spielberg is living proof that once a director...always a director when Fred asks him to take a snapshot for him. Hollywood's top names toast Yassir for being the hardest working man in terrorism. Contrary to popular belief, Dan believes h…