Dakota Johnson would like to welcome you into her beautiful private home. There’s just one small problem: none of this should be taken particularly seriously.
In Vogue’s latest Objects of Affection, Johnson shows off a “spiritually evolved” front door that judges visitors by their aura, accidentally keeps her grandfather’s ashes in a cookie jar and proudly displays a child’s drawing she can barely explain. Her bathroom doubles as an office because, naturally, “the most important work” she does is on herself.
The entire tour is a scripted parody created with Johnson, playing beautifully off her famously dry interview persona and her very real love of interior design. By the time her therapist arrives and tells her to put everything back, Vogue has pretty much admitted the whole thing was one elaborate troll — which somehow makes it even more Dakota Johnson.
